Fire Lake Publishing proudly presents....... ____ _____ ____ ____ __ __ / __\ /__ __\ / \ / \ \ \ / / | |__ | | | /\ | | () | \ V / \__ \ | | | || | | _/ | | _ _ _ _ ___ ___| | | | | \/ | | | \ | | _| |_| |_ | | | | /_ \ \____/ \_/ \____/ |_|\_\ |_| |_ _ _| | |_| | / / ____ ____ ____ ____ ____ _| |_| |_ |___ | / / / \ / \ / \ / ___\ / \ |_ _ _| | | / /__ | () | | /\ | | () | | |__ | |\ | |_| |_| |_| |_____| | < | || | | _/ | __| | || | | () | | \/ | | | \ | |___ | |/ | \____/ \____/ |_|\_\ \____/ \____/ ----- Stomp, Drop, and Roll ----- - OR - ----- Raptors are Forever ----- *The screen fades to black, and a white circle appears to the swelling sounds of a big 1950's band o/~ DUH-DUH-duuuuh DUH-DUH-duuuuh DUH-DUH-duh-duh o/~ The band settles into a ominous 1-2 rhythm as the circle slowly moves toward the right. Suddenly, a bunch of kazoos join in, playing an all kazoo version of the James Bond Theme. At the same time, an anthromorphic parasaur appears in the circle wearing a tuxedo. He moves slowly to the right, before suddenly turning to face the sniper at the climactic moment drawing his 4-D lens. But just before he fires, a giant godzilla foot comes out of nowhere and squishes Dino, saving the hit man. The music plays a final cord and fades out as the circle pulls back to reveal a darkened room in some unknown location..... * Ralph the guard walked up to the security grate separating the room from the rest of the complex. Peering through into the darkness, he moved his flashlight back and forth in the room, trying to see all the corners. When he was satisfied that everything was secure, he stepped backed and turned to walk down the hallway, continuing his patrol. His footsteps echoed through the large passage, the hollow clomping and the hum of the climate control were the only sounds he could hear. This was of course good, because it meant that there weren't any nasty intruders who were trying to shoot him. He turned the corner into another passage running perpendicular to the first, passing a small atrium containing a number of dinosaur statues. He continued down the new passage when something in his mind clicked, and he stopped dead in his tracks. As he turned around, he knew something wasn't quite right..... "Triceratops and allosaurs can't fight each other, they didn't live at the same time!" Ralph's concern for palentological accuracy had unfortunately caused him to miss noticing that the parasaur statue had been wearing a black cat suit, and that it was now missing. Oblivious to this, he turned to continue his patrol, turning smack into a eight foot tall parasaur. Before he gathered his wits enough to formulate a plan... screaming most likely, the parasaur reached out and smacked him upside the head. Ralph spun with the blow and then collapsed on the floor, completely unconscious. Dinosorceror knelt and grabbed the guard's keys and then pulled out a walkie-talkie. "Tidy bowl, this is little foot, I have subdued the guard and I am proceeding to the merchandize. Over." He stowed the walkie-talkie and snuck along the wall until he reached the security grate. Using the keys to unlock it, he slid it up part when and then rolled under it into the darkness of the room. Slipping on a pair of red-green three-d glasses, he peered around, looking for his target. He finally located the place where the documents were stored and shoved them all into his equipment pack. He grabbed a few other packages off a nearby counter and then fastened a small device to the bottom side of it. He pushed a few buttons to activate it and then departed the room as fast as he could. Jenn, Orelious, and the rest of the gang were waiting outside at the Turdis when Dino ran up. "I got everything gang!" "Good," said Orelious's goat head. "I must admit I thought your sudden request to stop for supplies was a bit odd, but I guess I was mistaken." Dino suddenly emptied a backpack full of candy bars onto the ground. "Or maybe not..." ammended the goat. "We came out of our way for junkfood! And why all the secrecy for Milkyways?!", grumbled Jenn. "Well... no..." replied Dino. "What else did you get?" "Well....." Jenn tore open the backpack and discovered a bunch of magazines. The title of the top one said _Bigguns_, with a groundshot of a giant moster stepping on the viewer for cover art. "We did all this over dirty magazines?!" Snake smiled, "Well, I'm finaly rubbing off on someone." Jenn grabbed Dino. "Why didn't you just buy it at the register like everyone else!" "Well", squeaked the parasaur. "I'm too embarrased... what would the clerks think of me?" The argument was cut short as Dino's bomb detonated, and The Mall of the Americas disappeared in a giant fireball, much to the party's awe. *The rising fireball crossfades into a giant bubble rising through water as the main theme begins, accompanied by provactive silohuettes of Japaneese flim monster, and raptors wielding various guns....* o/~ Always keep your mind on your goal, Or your likely to lose your soul, When the fighting brings you pain, Remember this refrain, When things get out of control, Just Stomp (bud-duh-dump-dump), drop, and roll.... o/~ o/~ If you're caught beneath the sole, Don't try to crawl into a hole, The piper already played, So now you're gonna pay, And when it's time, to pay the toll, Just Stomp (bud-duh-dump-dump), drop, and roll.... o/~ o/~ And now our lyricists on the dole, Because this song is no longer droll, The humor has decreased, And so this song is ceased I'm out of words to rhyme with 'ol' For Stomp! (bud-duh-dump-dump), droopp, and rroollll.... It's Stomp, drop, and rroollll.... Stomp, drop, and rrrroooollllllll! o/~ (* Dissolve to the next scene, where our story resumes. *) Stormfront sat at the camping fire, poking the coals with a stick. They were surrounded by similar fires and a bunch of teepees, the effect similar to some kind of draconic Outward Bound. Various dragons huddled about the fires, trying to keep warm in the loincloths they all wore. "This is really, really dumb, Red." "Well how do you expect me to become a full adult without it." "By growing up maybe?" "We all grow up, but a dragon has to go through this to be an adult." "No dragon in my family ever did anything like this." Red looked shocked and was about to respond when they were interrupted by someone shrieking, "DADDY! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME!!!" Stormfront looked in the direction it came from and threw a log out into the night. Sie smiled as a clonk, followed by a muffled yowl came floating back. "You don't need a ceremony to tell you're an adult. In fact, if you need this to think you're an adult, you're probably not one." "How do you become an adult dragon then?" "By going out there and acting like one!" "You don't mean?" "Yup, it's ass kicking time!!" Red grinned and doused the fire as the three adventures stood up. "Now," smiled Stormfront, hir teeth showing chaotically. "Let's find Dino and get back into the fun!" Of course, by the time they relocated the rest of the group, they would be right in the middle of a whole lot of 'fun'. -- ************************************************************************ * ** Brought to you by: * * "'Bother,' said Pooh, as the ** * * Rebel Fleet blew up the Death ** S C H E L L C O . * * Star. 'I knew I should have ** Since 1977, the proud producer * * made Rabbit my Admiral.'" ** of the finest me on earth. * * -- Peter da Silva ** * * ** Contact at: mss175@psu.edu * ************************************************************************ Fire Lake WWW Server Homepage: http://mss175.rh.psu.edu/firelake.html Fire Lake's Lion King Page: http://mss175.rh.psu.edu/lionking/