From: Jenn the Ice Raptoress <fsjle@aurora.alaska.edu>
Date: 5/28/96 3:31AM
Subject: SB028: Sweet Sensations
Address: To: herpetophile@lists1.best.com
Righto. Here's the next episode of everyone's favorite
reptilian soap opera. Again, I got a little lengthy, sorry about that.
NOTE: Some situations depicted in this episode are based on actual
recent events. *giggle*
Dino: You would not beeelieeve the trouble I had uploading this
from the demon Damien. Gah.
Skant: Sure, maybe you had him first, but I have him always. ;)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
SB028: Sweet Sensations
Cera was not pleased. Everything aboard her ship was sticky and
gooey, as it had all been turned into some sort of shiny red confection
that had begun to melt as soon as they engaged the engines. To make
matters worse, the nega-Dinosorceror who had seemed to be a promising ally,
had disappeared right out of her hand, further intensifying her foul mood.
But this was truly the worst. She was so furious that she was
shaking, causing all of her candy-coated bridge crew to press themselves as
far away from her as they could get. She stared hatefully at the hologram
before her, even as the figure depicted there laughed mockingly at her plight.
"You have GOT to be kidding!" the Patriarch rumbled merrily.
"NO!" Cera spit in fury, "I am NOT kidding! Are you going to help me
or what?"
"Since when do I help you, you annoying little bug?" the Patriarch
replied, the amusement still plain in his tone, "If you recall, we have a
far different agenda."
"Not so different, I think," Cera snapped self-righteously, "I know
what you're after, I know exactly why you have decided to help the
fledgling Dinosorceror, and frankly," she paused, "I can't quite decide
which of us is the more insidious."
The Patriarch was silent for a moment. "You want help? I should just
kill you now and put the universe out of your misery. Forget it, your
concave-ness." He broke the transmission with an imperious flourish of his
hand. Cera erupted with a flurry of anger, smashing the hologram controls
with her fist. She whirled on her hapless bridge crew.
"Find me the TURDIS! I dont care what it takes. I WILL be
victorious, and I will crush that arrogant fool into dust!" Though she
tried, she was simply too mad to summon up a good "Heeeeeee."
Dinosorceror paused, peering around the large boulder he had just
moved into place, gauging his situation. Across the room, a large stone
head, which looked rather like an Easter Island reject, sat in a gloomy
slightly dusty corner. Directly in front of it, a small box was waiting,
glowing tantalizingly, engraved with a heart and humming softly. Dino
frowned at it. Everything looked safe, but he was learning that
appearances could be highly deceiving. Cautiously, he inched out from
behind the protection of the boulder.
The stone head was suddenly animated. It growled and, faster then
Dino could move, spit out a barrage of laser darts, all of which hit Dino
as he tried to dive back to safety. He felt jolts of energy sizzle through
his nerves, making him yell out and twitch sporaticly.
A door opened up on one of the walls, and Jerhevon stepped in,
carrying a clip board on which he was making notes. Lights came up in the
room and most of the sinister humming ceased its noise.
"Not too bad, Dino, but that last trap got you. You got over-confident."
Dino groaned lowly, as the last of the energy dissapated out of his
body. "Geez Jer, do you have to make these simulations so realistic?" he
whined hootingly.
Jerhevon shrugged. "That's X's doing," he stepped back out and called
"Alright StormFront! You're next!"
Dino grumbled hotly as he drug himself out of the simulator, past the
curious looks of the other adventurers waiting their turns, and out into
the corridor. He found X where he figured he would, up in the control
room. WolfWings was with her, and they were discussing what appeared to be
a new situation that the TURDIS was in.
"X!" Dino called. "Why the hell. . ."
"Now isnt the time, Dino," she interrupted, raising a hand to silence
him. She was intently watching the sensors. "Something isnt right, you
better call a yellow alert."
"Right," Dino flicked the switch the would do just that, and within
moments everyone was assembled in the control room to find out what was
going on.
"Whassup, X?" Red asked, perching on the edge of the computer.
"Somehow we have gotten diverted from our course. We've been sucked
into the Circuts of Time." X informed them.
"Excellent!" Red beamed, inlicting a roll of eyes from all heads in
the room.
"Well, how did this happen?" StormFront inquired, moving to the
console to check the monitors hirself.
"Unknown," WolfWings reported, "But the fact of the matter is that now
we are going away from Aquamarine."
"Are there any objects in our immediate vicinity?" asked the
ever singular minded Dino.
X shrugged and asked the computer, which answered in a rather
whiny voice. "Yes. We are approuching the object designated 'Field'"
"Well, while we're in the neighborhood anyway, we might as well stop
and get it." Dino decided.
"Where is it located?" Orelious the Goat asked.
The computer was pleased to tell them that the object was to be found
on the fourth planet of the system Peger. It even gave them a website
address if they wanted more information. X thought that was a good idea,
that way they would have some idea what to expect, rather then being caught
off guard as they had on Pollux. Benjamin looked it up for them. Peger IV
was a pleasent little planet, pre-industrial, with a peaceful race of
lizard-folk. The only thing that seemed to be amiss about the planet was
the presence of an group of Anemic Allergy-prone Pneumonia Dragons.
"Pneumonia Dragons!" Red beamed, his swirling eyes gleaming with the
anticipation of chaos.
"Hmmm," X mused, "Computer, what's our ETA?"
"Thirty minutes, and I do have a name, you know," the computer replied
testily.
They ignored it. X gestured to the group, "Alright, we need to arm
ourselves. Dino, Red, Benjamin, go have the replicators make as many
peanut M&Ms as they can possibly churn out."
That caught most everyone off guard.
"Eh, M&Ms?" Dino repeated blankly.
StormFront grinned, "Right! Good thinking X. Pnuemonia Dragons are
fierce, but notoriously diabetic. Everyone spread out. Gather as many
projectile weapons and as much chocolate as you can!"
Thirty minutes later, with a hissing release of pressurized air, the
doors of the TURDIS slid open and a roll of warm air lazily swirled out,
dissipating to reveal the entire crew, all ready and charged holding
various guns and weapons at standby, all striking dramatic poses in the
reddish light which shone from the interior of the TURDIS.
They faced a pleasent village, surrounded by a darkened forest, quiet
in the cooling night air. Cautiously, they made their way out of the
TURDIS, falling neatly into the skirmish line assigned by X and Jerhovan,
the newcomers, StormFront and WolfWings, taking positions behind Orelious
and in front of Jerhevon respectively. X, in the lead position with her
charge Dinosorceror right behind her, paused to sniff the air.
Benjamin confirmed her conclusion. "No scent of Pneumonia Dragons."
"That doesnt necessarily mean they are not around," StormFront
commented.
"Does anyone else smell eucalyptus?" Benjamin wrinkled his nose.
A small delegation of pale-colored bipedal anoles emerged from the
village and came forward to meet them. X gave everyone a quick signal
which meant to keep eyes open and be ready. Weapons were brought to fore.
All weapons, that is, except Dinosorceror's. In the armoury of the TURDIS,
he had located an 80-pound crossbow pistol that he had taken a real shine
to. It matched his new leather outfit and there was something about the
weight of the weapon in his hands that made him feel macho. However, he
had come up against an unexpected problem. Now that it was time to
brandish his weapon menacingly, he couldnt get the bow strung.
"Uh, wait. . . hold on a minute, X . . ." he grunted as he fought to
bend the bow far enough to slip the loop of the string around the end,
holding it against his body for leverage. X looked back at him, her
expression at once one of irritation and extreme amusement.
"Is there a problem, Dinosorceror?" Jerhevon called.
"Uh no! *eerrrrrr*. . . no, no problem!" Dino hooted nervously as he
struggled with the bow.
The Anoles stopped in front of them, turning their heads curiously to
observe the Dinosorceror. He grinned as they regarded him, pressing down
on the bow with all of his strength, straining to fit the string.
X said something that sounded vauguely insulting in her native
language, grabbed the crossbow, strung it easily and shoved it back at
Dino. Dino stammered for a moment, then greeted the native Anoles.
He stepped forward and struck a pose he judged to be dramatic and
heroic, "Greetings! We come in peace! I am the --"
"Legandary Dinosorceror, yes we know," interrupted the Head Anole.
"It is about time you arrived, we have been waiting for you and welcome you
to our humble village, Great One."
The group hesitated collectively. Orelious the Lioness leaned
forward, "Great One? Are you little guys sure you have the right
Dinosorceror?"
"We ARE still in our reality, arent we?" Red wondered.
"Can it, you guys," Dino retorted in irritation, then turned his
attention back to the Anoles, "Perhaps you can help us. We are looking for
an --"
"Object," the Head Anole finished for him, "Yes, Great One. We are
well aware of your quest. We have the object you seek. It is a crystal
which projects an energy field around our most unworthy village. This
field is the only thing that stands between us and emminant destruction at
the feet of the Pneumonia Dragons. But you are more then welcome to take
it for your glorious mission."
Dino blinked rapidly. "Wait a minute. This crystal is the only thing
that protects you, and you WANT me to take it?!"
"Truly," gushed the Head Anole, "Your grasp of the obvious is
phenominal."
"I cant do that!!" Dino exclaimed in dismay.
Benjamin stepped forward and tugged at X, "X, I'm telling you, I smell
eucalyptus, and its getting stronger. Something isnt right here."
X tensed, looking around at the dark forms of the trees all around
them. She hefted her gun, it was already set in "Killer M&M" mode and
humming softly. At her signal, the others also readied themselves. They
all gazed around them as the noises of the forests became suddenly quiet.
Dino edged back into his place behind X, clutching his crossbow and the
extra bags of ammo he was carrying for X's gun. The Anoles all hunkered
fearfully, their large glassy eyes scanning the trees nervously. The cool
breezes stilled, and the dark was heavy and oppressive.
"I've got a bad feeling about this. . ." Red whispered and hid himself
beneath Livingston.
"They come," the head Anole said quietly.
Everyone in the party jumped as a sheering crack tore through the air,
high above them, massive claws on milky pale hands parted the trees,
snapping them like teeny twigs. Most of the Anoles scattered and ran for
the village. The Head Anole rushed forward and grabbed Dino. "Come Great
One! There is safety in the village!"
A thin ghostly white head, sporting a long elegant muzzle filled with
glittering teeth thrust through the trees towards them. The Pneumonia
Dragon roared at them, its hot breath whooshing down upon them like a
hurricane, smelling of cough drops and Vick's VapoRub. The entire group
drew back, some following the Anoles. X, Jerhevon and StormFront fired at
the emmense Dragon, all three guns flinging vast quantities of chocolate at
the sickly reptile. Orelious and WolfWings saw to the safety of Benjamin,
Livingston and Red, guided by the Anoles. Dino stayed behind X, which she
had earlier warned him he would be smart to do. His eyes widened as a huge
taloned foot crushed through the trees and undergrowth. He felt the impact
tremor shiver through his body. The first Pneumonia Dragon was joined by a
second, then a fourth, then a tenth. Within moments, the place was lousy
with huge sneezing, coughing, fiercesome dragons.
"Come! There is protection in the field!" the Head Anole implored. X
gave Jerhevon and StormFront the retreat signal and within moments the
entire group had passed through the shimmering field which extended around
the village, protecting it from the dragons outside.
"The chocolate doesnt seem to be working!" Jerhevon spit as he
conferred with X.
"We have to shoot it into their mouths, get them to swallow it. With
enough of it, they'll drop into sugar comas."
"I CANT take the object!" Dino was ranting. "Did you see those feet?!
They'd make short work of this peaceful little village!! I cant have that
on my conscience!"
"But Great One," the Head Anole protested, "It is your destiny! Do
not worry about us, your most unworthy of subjects, you must take the
Crystal!" All the other Anoles, which had gathered from most of the
village, agreed readily with their leader, all gazing upon Dino with
reverant looks of love and respect.
"By the Egg, you're all insane!" Dino decided.
"Look Great One," X grabbed him by the front of his jacket, and the
sarcasm was fairly evident in her tone, "If we can take out these dragons,
then the village wont need its protection and you can take the Crystal.
Nice and simple." She gestured at the TURDIS crew, "Let's go gang! Aim
for the mouths!"
Dinosorceror watched as X, Jerhevon, StormFront, Orelious and
WolfWings took up positions at the edge of the force field and began to
relentlessly hammer the circling pack of dragons with all manners of
chocolate. He jumped in with Benjamin and Red who were running about,
ready with more ammo and fresh guns when neccessary. Some of the Anoles
got the idea and joined the fray, throwing handfulls of M&Ms or Hershey's
Kisses. Four of the dragons began to sway dizzily.
"Keep it up guys, its working!!" Red shrieked over the din.
"I'm out!!" StormFront yelled, tossing aside an empty gun that had
been firing Dove Promises. Dino slammed a new gun into hir hand, this one
filled with chocolate covered raisins. As sie renewed hir attack, one of
the dragons went into a sugar coma as they had hoped.
X was relentlessly hammering several of the dragons who had gathered
near her section of the field, feeling more in her element then she had in
quite awhile. She raptor-shrreeeee'd as she fired, loving the pounding of
her gun in her hands. She could feel the change in weight in the weapon as
she got low on ammo and so yelled over her shoulder. "Ammo!!"
Dino, who was hastily trying to refill StormFront's cast-off gun,
heard her and grabbed up the bag of ammo. He sprinted over to her, and in
his hurry did not see the exposed root poking up out of the ground.
X heard a scattering crash behind her and looked down to see dozens of
M&Ms roll wildly beneath her, exploding in tiny violent blasts as they hit
the force field. She looked over her shoulder to see that Dino had
tripped, the bag had broken open, and there were now M&Ms everywhere. Dino
looked at the rolling candies in dismay, then up at X. A rather sheepish
grin spread across his face.
X decided that at the first opportunity, she was going to have to ask
for a raise.
Several more of the Pneumonia Dragons were going down, caught by
extreme sugar comas. Then without warning, everyone was startled by a
sudden brilliant light, which shot down from the night sky, briefly
illuminated a small building in the center of the village and faded.
Jerhevon pretty much summed up everyone's thoughts. "What the
hell?!"
The Head Anole ran to Dino and grabbed him fiercely, dragging him up
from the ground. "Great One! You must take the Crystal, you must take it
now!"
"Now?!" Dino exclaimed, looking back at his friends furiously battling
the Dragons. He hesitated for a moment, but the Head Anole pushed him
roughly toward the center of the village.
"It is housed in that building! Go!"
Dino ran for the building, threw open the wooden door and slammed it
quickly behind him.
Immediately, the sounds of the battle outside were silenced. Dino
gave his eyes a moment to adjust to the heavy and dusty darkness, then
stepped forward. At the center of the little round building there sat an
unremarkable stone pedestal, and on that rested a small red crystal which
was glowing softly with a warm light. A beam rose from the tapered end,
disappearing through the thatched roof of the building, and was obviously
the origin of the field surrounding the village. Dino felt slightly
paniced at the thought of removing the only protection the village had
against the Pneumonia Dragons, but he also knew that he needed the crystal
if he was ever going to complete what everyone seemed to be telling him was
his destiny.
He reached out to take the Crystal, and jumped back as a quiet femine
voice ordered, "Wait,"
A young female parasaur stepped into the light cast by the beam of the
Crystal, her solid black eyes aflame with a light of wonder and fear.
Finally Cera was able to work up a truly evil "Heeeeeee!" as she
survayed the ensuing battle on Peger IV with the aid of her shipboard
sensors. She had to pause occasionally to wipe away the dripping goo that
oozed down onto the screens, but was otherwise pleased to have found the
TURDIS and its crew. She gestured to her second-in-command. "We have
them! Send down the troops! I'll show that arrogant Patriarch what true
evil is! Heeeeeeee!"
Dino stared at the beautiful parasaur before him speechlessly, his
mouth hanging open slightly. In some remote corner of his mind, it occured
to him that this was the first time he had even seen another member of his
newly aquired species, and damn if she wasnt one of the most phenominal
creatures he had ever lain eyes on!
She stood about a foot shorter then he, her crest tapering elegantly
over her head and dark in color. Her eyes were very large and solidly
glassy black, as opposed to his blue pupiled ones. Her muzzle was long and
delicate and filled with, to Dino's surprise, predatory teeth. She stood
as he did, with a humaniod bipedal orientation, her fluid and slender body
a dark mottled green-brown in color, with black stripes which folowed her
contours and curves very attractively. Dino's gaze naturally found her
feet and he was shocked to find that she sported on each inner toe a
beautiful shiny black sickle claw. Her sinuous tail swished behind her,
softly brushing the floor.
She was, meanwhile, studying him quite carefully as well, with an
expression of astonishment. "Dinosorceror?" she whispered, "By the Egg,
you look so different. . . "
Dino found a familiar light shining in her eyes, and he wondered where
he had seen that same expression before, and why he felt such a connection
with the beautiful creature. "Who are you?" he asked.
She looked down at the Crystal, running a thin tongue along the rows
of her teeth. "You must take the Crystal," she reminded him anxiously.
Dino felt slightly irritated, but remembered his mission, and how
insistant the Head Anole had been that he take the Crystal now. He reached
out and wrapped his hand around it, feeling the warmth of its energies, and
slipped it into one of the pockets of his jacket. Immediately the field
beam dissipated. The young female reached into a pouch on the black tunic
she wore and withdrew another red Crystal, setting it in the vacant place
on the stone. The beam sprang back into being, re-establishing the
protective field around the village.
"I have completed my mission," she said softly.
Dino definately felt as though he were out of the loop, "Your mission?"
"I accepted the duty of replacing the Field Crystal at the very moment
you removed it, sixteen years ago, so that the village would never be
unprotected," she told him with a touch of pride in her tone.
He blinked rapidly, processing this information. He recalled that X had
said they had entered the Circuts of Time, so this event shouldnt be a
surprise. "Who gave you this duty?"
She smiled, "You did, or rather, you will. In my time, you no longer
have need of the Crystal."
Dino took another look at her, she looked so familiar, and he was
startled to realize that she appeared to be a harmonious blend of parasaur
and . . . raptor. . .
"You have GOT to be kidding!!" he exclaimed suddenly as it all came
together in his mind, startling the female enough that she jumped back a
step. "Are you saying that X and I . . ?"
She blinked and frighteningly enough was able to follow his train of
thought. She shook her head, "X? No, not X. Jenn."
Dino froze as he tried to think through that one. Recent episodes had
been so confusing that it took him a moment to work out exactly which
raptor he had been bedded by. He realized that, yes, it had been Jenn and
not X with whom he had shared a night of wild passion. And then she had
returned to her own reality, neither of them suspecting that their boinking
had resulted in this. . . a daughter. . .
Dino whooped, and grinned with giddy pride. "Holy Cats! This is the
most incredible. . . I mean, I didnt know. . . and you're so beautiful, its
obvious you dont take after me very much."
She smiled, chuckling softly, "Yes, that's what Mother says, but my
twin does take after you," she said, delivering another blow just when Dino
thought he had everything figured out. "He spends most of his time about
this big," she indicated a very tiny size with her thumb and forefinger.
"Twins?!" he laughed and grabbed her by the hand to tug her along,
"Come on! I have to show you off to everyone!"
She pulled back. "I'm sorry, Father, but I cant. This isnt my time
period, I have other duties to attend to, and you'll be very huffy if I
miss curfew."
Dino was unexpectedly disappointed. "Oh,"
She smiled sweetly, leaning forward to kiss his cheek, "Don't worry,
you'll see me again when Mom hits you with the child support suit." She
stepped back, activated a small control pad strapped to her wrist, and was
engulfed in the brilliant light he had seen descend into the building
earlier. With some awesome special effects, she dematerialized. That was
when Dino realized that she had never told him her name.
Dino emmerged from the building to find that all of the Pneumonia
Dragons were now caught in the throes of sugar comas, but that his friends
were now engaged in a fiercesome battle with an entire army of coelosaurs,
all bearing a brand of Cera's symbol on their right legs. Dino cursed. It
appeared that half of the army was stuck outside the force field, and that
the other half had gotten through and were now engaged in wonton
destruction throughout the village. Obviously they had gotten through in
the brief moment that the field had been down. The Anoles, however,
appeared to be holding their own quite well.
Two coelosaurs jumped down from the roof of the field building. Dino
suddenly remembered his crossbow and fumbled with it. "Hold it!" he
yelled, trying to pull back the string on the bow, "Wait. . . hold on just a
moment. . . "
The two saurs stopped and eyed him curiously as he struggled to pull
the string back. He reflected that he probably should have chosen the 50
or 60-pound crossbow from the armoury, not the 80. Grunting, he strained
every muscle in his arm, trying to get the weapon ready to fire.
One of the coelosaurs hissed impatiently, crouching with the intention
of springing.
"No! Wait!! I got it!" Dino finally got the string pulled back, and
was now futzing to get the small metel darts out of his jacket pocket. He
fitted one into place and took a defensive stance, pointing the crossbow at
the two saurs.
"Are you ready now?" one of them asked.
"Yes, thank you."
The coelosaurs hissed menacingly, advancing on Dino with murder in
their beady eyes. Dino pulled the trigger, and cursed up a storm when the
string slid over the dart without shooting it.
"Wait one more minute. . ." he growled, fighting the string back into
place. The saurs waited with extreme impatience until Dino was ready
again. This time, when the trigger was pulled, the dart snapped cleanly in
half.
"Okay, I know I can make it work this time. . . "
One of the coelosaurs snorted in disgust, "Nevermind! Come on Fred,
he's not worth the time."
"Dino!!" Red shrieked as he flew a weaving path through the battle,
"X! Here he is! I found him!"
X emmerged from the fighting, leveling a glare at Dino, her teeth
bared, "How the hell am I suppose to body guard you when you keep running
off?! Now come on! The others are heading for the TURDIS, Cera's troops
are swarming all over it!"
Dino, more then relived to take up his position of safety behind the
raptor, followed X and Red back through the field and to the TURDIS. The
rest of the group joined them and they all fought to dislodge all the saurs
from their transportation, until Jerhevon noticed a very important detail.
"X! The door of the TURDIS is hanging wide open! Troops have gotten
in!"
X whirled on Dino, glaring at him yet again, "Dino! You were suppose
to lock the door behind us!"
"I did!" Dino hissed defensively, searching his pockets for his keys.
When he didnt find them, he gave X a sheepish grin, a look which X was
beginning to really hate. "I, uh, think I left the key in the lock. . ."
.*&#, ______,
##mmWWWU-^~
-' `^4Xz.
Jenn _7/ Joy and Raptors!
fsjle@aurora.alaska.edu
-Raptor X-
Think about the world you're dreaming of.
Let the sun shine down from up above.
Give your dreams of peace a little shove;
Spread your SPAM the way you spread your love.