From: "Havoc/ WJRogers" To: "LavaDomeFive List Member" Subject: [LavaDomeFive] Pikachu - faster than light! :D Date: Saturday, May 04, 2002 9:12 PM I advise you to not even try to understand relativity in terms of everyday logic. It's just going to give you a BEEE-YOOOtiful headache, the size of Grrr the much beloved plush T-Rex (with such a nicely detailed tummy, Quel) after he's been Duncanized. The enormous plush toz with their vinyl claws, specially coated in kruft for the occasion, each the size of a major warship, move toward the cowering wee victims below and crush them into an oddly soft, cuddly, and reassuring oblivion. Not only that, but as the toz approach the speed of light their mass approaches infinity, so that by the time they hit they'd be massive enough and carry force enough to shatter the Earth's crust, if not the whole Earth. Alas, they'd also get thinner and thinner, in the direction of travel, as they did, due to.. is it the Lorentz contraction, or Lawrence? I never can remember. There once was a fencer from Fisk Whose speed was exceedingly brisk. So fast was his action The Lorentz Contraction Reduced his rapier to a disk. And so with poor Grrr's toz. Alas. However, he wouldn't be perturbed, as to him they'd appear completely normal. Tis the Earth which would appear to be completely flat, to him. That's exactly what he'd expect anyway. You see, the Jurassic occurred long before the Greeks determined the shape and approximate size of the Earth. Therefore the belief that the Earth was flat was very common among T. rexes, especially the plush ones. Nope nope nope, just drop relativity. As an alternative, I suggest moderate quantities of beer. Or be sensible like Steed and just gallop gallop gallop away, clippity-clippity. Relativity is TOOOOOO boggling. PS Your crystal train could not go past at the speed of light. The best it could do would be "arbitrarily close to the speed of light." But it doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter! I have no idea why I bothered to mention that. Sonnets. We need more sonnets. Or limericks, at least. pps. I recognize, and perhaps many of my friends have recognized, that I am consistantly, completely, and totally off my rocker. I attribute this to brain damage incurred in taking, learning, passing, and forgetting a graduate level course in relativistic physics. I took it, in spite of having no use for it at all, because my advisor thought would be good for me. I don't think her name was really Torquemada but perhaps I should check. ---THIS MESSAGE WAS SENT FROM A LAVA DOME FIVE MAILING LIST--- ------------See http://LD5.hn.org for information-------------