Dino turned his attention back to the Anoles, "Perhaps you can help us. We are looking for an --"
"Object," the Head Anole finished for him, "Yes, Great One. We are well aware of your quest. We have the object you seek. It is a crystal which projects an energy field around our most unworthy village. This field is the only thing that stands between us and imminent destruction at the feet of the Pneumonia Dragons. But you are more than welcome to take it for your glorious mission."
Dino blinked rapidly. "Wait a minute. This crystal is the only thing that protects you, and you want me to take it?!"
"Truly," gushed the Head Anole, "Your grasp of the obvious is phenomenal."
"I can't do that!!" Dino exclaimed in dismay.
"They come," the head Anole said quietly.
Everyone in the party jumped as a shearing crack tore through the air--high above them, massive claws on milky pale hands parted the trees, snapping them like teeny twigs. Most of the Anoles scattered and ran for the village. The Head Anole rushed forward and grabbed Dino. "Come Great One! There is safety in the village!"
ANNOUNCER:Yeah, right...Dino, the "Great One?" Well our new Story Bored begins with a flashback to the original Story Bored, episode twenty-eight to be precise. In today's story, the Dinosorceror is going to find out that he can't just forget about his former position as the keystone in a universal plot...
The Head Anole ran to Dino and grabbed him fiercely, dragging him up from the ground. "Great One! You must take the Crystal; you must take it now!"
"Now?!" Dino exclaimed, looking back at his friends furiously battling the Dragons. He hesitated for a moment, but the Head Anole pushed him roughly toward the center of the village. "It is housed in that building! Go!"
Dino ran for the building, threw open the wooden door and slammed it quickly behind him. Immediately, the sounds of the battle outside were silenced. Dino gave his eyes a moment to adjust to the heavy and dusty darkness, then stepped forward. At the center of the little round building, there sat an unremarkable stone pedestal, and on that rested a small red crystal which was glowing softly with a warm light. A beam rose from the tapered end, disappearing through the thatched roof of the building, and was obviously the origin of the field surrounding the village. Dino felt slightly panicked at the thought of removing the only protection the village had against the Pneumonia Dragons, but he also knew that he needed the crystal if he was ever going to complete what everyone seemed to be telling him was his destiny.
He reached out to take the Crystal, and jumped back as a quiet feminine voice ordered, "Wait."
A young female parasaur stepped into the light cast by the beam of the Crystal, her solid black eyes aflame with a light of wonder and fear. Dino stared at the beautiful parasaur before him speechlessly, his mouth hanging open slightly. In some remote corner of his mind, it occurred to him that this was the first time he had even seen another member of his newly acquired species, and damned if she wasn't one of the most phenomenal creatures he had ever laid eyes on!
She stood about a foot shorter then he, her crest tapering elegantly over her head and dark in color. Her eyes were very large and solidly glassy black, as opposed to his blue pupiled ones. Her muzzle was long and delicate and filled with, to Dino's surprise, predatory teeth. She stood as he did, with a humanoid bipedal orientation, her fluid and slender body a dark mottled green-brown in color, with black stripes which followed her contours and curves very attractively. Dino's gaze naturally found her feet and he was shocked to find that she sported, on each inner toe, a beautiful shiny black sickle claw. Her sinuous tail swished behind her, softly brushing the floor.
She was, meanwhile, studying him quite carefully as well, with an expression of astonishment. "Dinosorceror?" she whispered, "By the Egg, you look so different. . . "
Dino found a familiar light shining in her eyes, and he wondered where he had seen that same expression before, and why he felt such a connection with the beautiful creature. "Who are you?" he asked.
She looked down at the Crystal, running a thin tongue along the rows of her teeth. "You must take the Crystal," she reminded him anxiously.
Dino felt slightly irritated, but remembered his mission, and how insistent the Head Anole had been that he take the Crystal now. He reached out and wrapped his hand around it, feeling the warmth of its energies, and slipped it into one of the pockets of his jacket. Immediately the field beam dissipated. The young female reached into a pouch on the black tunic she wore and withdrew another red Crystal, setting it in the vacant place on the stone. The beam sprang back into being, re-establishing the protective field around the village.
"I have completed my mission," she said softly.
Dino definitely felt as though he were out of the loop. "Your mission?"
"I accepted the duty of replacing the Field Crystal at the very moment you removed it, sixteen years ago, so that the village would never be unprotected," she told him with a touch of pride in her tone.
He blinked rapidly, processing this information. He recalled that X had said they had entered the Circuits of Time, so this event shouldn't be a surprise. "Who gave you this duty?"
She smiled, "You did, or rather, you will. In my time, you no longer have need of the Crystal."
Dino took another look at her. She looked so familiar, and he was startled to realize that she appeared to be a harmonious blend of parasaur and . . . raptor. . .
"You have got to be kidding!!" he exclaimed suddenly as it all came together in his mind, startling the female enough that she jumped back a step. "Are you saying that X and I . . ?"
She blinked and frighteningly enough was able to follow his train of thought. She shook her head, "X? No, not X. Jenn."
Dino froze as he tried to think through that one. Recent episodes had been so confusing that it took him a moment to work out exactly which raptor he had been bedded by. He realized that--yes, it had been Jenn and not X with whom he had shared a night of wild passion. And then she had returned to her own reality, neither of them suspecting that their boinking had resulted in this. . . a daughter. . .
Dino whooped, and grinned with giddy pride. "Holy Cats! This is the most incredible. . . I mean, I didn't know. . . and you're so beautiful. . . it's obvious you don't take after me very much."
She smiled, chuckling softly, "Yes, that's what Mother says, but my twin does take after you," she said, delivering another blow just when Dino thought he had everything figured out. "He spends most of his time about this big." She indicated a very tiny size with her thumb and forefinger.
"Twins?!" he laughed and grabbed her by the hand to tug her along, "Come on! I have to show you off to everyone!"
She pulled back. "I'm sorry, Father, but I can't. This isn't my time period, I have other duties to attend to, and you'll be very huffy if I miss curfew."
Dino was unexpectedly disappointed. "Oh."
She smiled sweetly, leaning forward to kiss his cheek, "Don't worry, you'll see me again when Mom hits you with the child support suit." She stepped back, activated a small control pad strapped to her wrist, and was engulfed in the brilliant light he had seen descend into the building earlier. With some awesome special effects, she dematerialized. That was when Dino realized that she had never told him her name.
"You come down here this instant young woman!" Dino bellowed up the stairs of the bed and breakfast.
A crested head popped out from around the wall to gauge the mood of her father. One look in her eyes told her -- "Eh, he's not that pissed off." She slowly hopped down the stairs, her obsidian sickle-claws carefully avoiding the new carpet.
Dino shoved his left hand at her face, and she took a step back. "Do you see what Khith found in the sink in the basement?"
His daughter had to tilt her head and bring one eye very close to her father's palm before the eye widened in recognition. "Oh...yeah..."
Dino scowled. "'Oh, yeah' indeed!" he roared. "If anyone but Khith had gone to use that sink, your brother would have been killed!" Dino thought he'd take a breather and see if she had anything to say for herself, but after three seconds he decided she didn't. "What the hell were you thinking?" he flared up again.
She took another step back, and actually got a defiant look in her face, adding to Dino's enraged expression. "So...? So what! You both like to be that small! He was pissing me off and I had to shut him up somehow!"
Dino squinted and peered at his daughter. "You don't ever...ever use a Lens unless you think of the consequences! How many times do I have to tell you that?"
A tear or two welled up in her eyes as she sprinted back up the stairs, this time not caring if her claws gouged the carpet. She heard her father yell, "And don't you come down until you're ready to apologize to your brother!"
Dino sighed and turned to Khith. "You're lucky you're just a robot."
"Heh...you can say that again," Khith responded...just before Astor pushed the kitchen door open, releasing a puff of smoke. He was holding a flaming toaster on the end of a salad spoon.
Khith hopped and shrieked like a girl. "My baby! My poor baby! What have you done to her, you brute!" he shouted, pushing Astor back into the kitchen.
Dino turned his attention to the progeny in his hand. "Now, as for you, young man...you must've been irritating your sister pretty bad for her to shrink you this small. And you might have thought, 'Hey, if this is punishment, I'm ready for a life of crime!' but you have some lessons to learn too, you schmuck." With that, he unceremoniously dumped his son on the counter and brought him back to his normal size.
"Thanks, Dad!" his son squeaked up at him, and at his new six-inch height he was able to use the phone on the counter to call his friends and tell him why he wasn't able to attend the party.
A few minutes later, Dino found himself in the dining room of their bed and breakfast, sitting around a table eating dinner with his wife, Astor and Helvetica.
"She's still brooding?" Jenn turned to Dino and asked.
Dino licked his chops a few times before nodding a response.
Astor slammed his silverware to the table around his plate and spat, "Y'know, it's about time someone said this -- you can't exactly blame the girl for doing stuff like that, considering her role model!"
Dino removed his glasses so he could wipe off the creamed corn that had impacted there. To everyone's surprise, Dino didn't seem angry. "Yeah, yeah...I know. I'm always filling their heads with the antics I had when I was younger. I don't mean to be so hard on them...on her, especially...but they don't realize that although all those things that happened before may sound funny in retrospect, but they were all deadly serious at the time."
Jenn continued to politely carve her steak for a few more moments before saying, "We aren't the ones who need to hear that."
Dino cleared his throat, and took a breath. He then wiped his mouth, stood, and headed upstairs.
Helvetica paused long enough for Jenn and Astor to resume eating before he eyed Dino's plate and asked, "Is he gonna finish that?"
Dino opened the already ajar door to his daughter's bedroom and softly said, "Honey?"
She was lying on her bed, with her head under a pillow. "What do you want," she said, muffled.
Dino took another breath and sat down on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on her back. "Honey, I--"
"You're always taking his side," she spat. "He can get all small and hop all over the place, but as soon as I do it to him--"
He rubbed his claw around in the small of her back. "I know, I know...listen, honey, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. You're right I...I do tend to take his side. But I've got to make you both understand that...well, the way we're living now...it's not exactly...normal. There's a lot about our past that you have to understand..."
She pulled the pillow from her head and wiped her eyes. "Well? I'm listening," she sniffed.
Jenn and Astor were just finishing up their meal as Helvetica was starting on his main course. "Fine, Foofs...since he isn't back yet, you can have Dino's," Jenn chuckled. A chill that ran down her spine interrupted her laughter. She looked to the doorway between the reception hall and the dining room, and her obsidian eyes widened.
In the portal stood three tall, lightly colored parasaurs wearing long, dark black coats and dark glasses. Fog rolled into the dining room from around their ankles. Khith scampered around the side of them. "I'm sorry, Jenn, but they insisted on seeing the boss! Oh, and the dry ice machine for the dance tomorrow is on the fritz again."
The central parasaur spoke in a deep but raspy voice. "Are you Jenn the Ice Raptoress?"
Those six words were enough to clear out the entire dining room of patrons, save for Khith, Astor and Helvetica. "Yes, I am," Jenn spoke calmly, wiping her muzzle delicately as she stood. "And whom might you three be?"
The parasaur to their right took a step towards Jenn, and removed his glasses to reveal featureless white orbs for eyes. "We are the Council."
Dino hugged his daughter warmly at the end of their chat. Feeling something squirm between them, his daughter chuckled when she plucked her brother from her father's pocket.
"I hope you've been paying attention, son," Dino mused.
"Yeah, I have Dad!" he squeaked, dangling from his sister's grasp. "I'm feelin' the love!"
"Yeah, well you'll be feeling grounded if I catch you annoying your sister like that again. And I don't mean the good kind of grounded," Dino said sternly.
His son stopped laughing. "Yes, Father."
"Good. Now, let's all go down and get some dinner before Flabio eats it all."
Dino was surprised, to say the least, to see the backs of three shady parasaurs when they all came downstairs to the dining room. "What the -- "
One of the parasaurs turned with a stern expression on his face, his eyes like cue balls. "Yeeah!" shrieked Dino, who took a few steps back. "What the hell are you?" he asked, pushing his son in his pocket and his daughter behind him. "And what the hell is all this fog?"
Khith popped his head in. "My fault!"
The central being didn't speak until the entire group reassembled in the lobby. Removing his sunglasses as well, he looked Dino up and down with his featureless eyes. "Unbelievable...that one as unremarkable as you could cause so much damage."
"Where I come from, mister, that's called 'talking like a man with a paper asshole'. Care to explain yourself?" Dino said sternly, but shivering internally.
The central parasaur put his sunglasses in a jacket pocket, and the others followed suit. "We are all that remains of the Council of Dinosorcerors. When I say 'remains,' I mean that a certain member of our order royally fucked up just about every place he ever visited, not to mention destroying and merging whole universes. It's a wonder any of us survived the holocaust at all."
Dino turned and handed his son to his daughter. He motioned them behind the counter and whispered, "Kids, you get into our office, and you stay there until you hear from us, understood?" They both nodded, and his daughter quickly leapt into the office. When Dino turned back around, he saw that the central parasaur was standing right in front of him. "Aaah! Jesus Christ!"
The Council member snorted. "Indeed. We've been waiting millennia to meet with the likes of you, Mister Dinosorceror."
Astor cracked his knuckles. Jenn bared her teeth. Helvetica chewed on a drumstick. Khith kicked the dry ice machine until it stopped spewing out fog.
Dino stood on his tiptoes, trying to look the creature in its featureless eyes. "Oh, is that so?"
Astor and Jenn took a step toward the creature as it jerked a clawed hand onto Dino's chest, grabbing him by the shirt and hoisting him to eye level. "Yes, that is so," he growled, squinting at Dino. His eyes caught the flash from around Dino's neck, and he gasped! "By the Egg...he has the Lens!" the parasaur shrieked, and Dino found himself on his feet again. He also found that the Council were on their knees bowing before him. Jenn and Astor seemed to be just as surprised as Dino was. Helvetica was too engrossed in his drumstick.
"Um...wanna run this by me...one more time, guys?" Dino said down to his worshippers.
The one to his left muttered, "I never thought the prophecy would be fulfilled!"
The one to his right muttered, "I thought we just made that prophecy up!"
The one before him leaned back and sputtered, "O wise and mighty Dinosorceror, rightful ruler of the Council..."
Jenn whispered to Astor, "I'd give a leg and a tail to know why it is that everyone seems to have that reaction to my husband."
Astor whispered back, "I think it says something about the fundamental intelligence of the universe."
Dino picked up the one before him. "Look, enough of that holier than thou bullshit. What the hell do you guys want?"
"We have been journeying for countless ages throughout the universes since the Holocaust, searching for the One who could set things right. We have come across many rogue Dinosorcerors, and have deemed them all unworthy, for none retained the power and the glory of the original Council of Dinosorcerors."
"And...just what happened to these other guys?" Dino asked.
The one to his right answered, "Oh, we killed 'em."
Dino shuddered as the central one continued. "We have collected many fragments from our journeys in an attempt to regain the Device, the center of the power of the almighty Council, but we now know that all too many pieces of the Device were destroyed in the Holocaust."
"How many have you managed to save, then?" Dino asked.
The one to his left answered, "Including the last universe we stopped in? Hmm...that would bring us up toooooo....um, one."
Dino rolled his eyes as the central one continued. "But we never in our wildest dreams would imagine we would find a Dinosorceror who still held the most powerful, legendary segment of the Device! We are at your service and command, now and forever, great and powerful Dinosorceror."
Jenn sighed from behind them, as Astor held in his laughter. "Great," she chrred. "Three creepy parasaurs to go along with the one I already have to deal with."
Dino let out quite an audible sigh of relief. He motioned for his progeny to emerge from his office, now that it was safe. "Are we gonna have to listen to these creepysaurs just like we have to listen to Astor and Khith, Dad?" his daughter asked.
Dino winked. "We'll see, hon. So...exactly how did you three get here? Find me? You've got some kinda universe-hopping Camaro?"
They all tossed their long coats over their shoulders in unison, very dramatically, and the central one said, "Follow us."
When they got outside, there was quite a commotion. Police cars and choppers abounded. A crowd had gathered. Searchlights were piercing through the cool, evening air of Faibanx.
"Behold," the central creepysaur stated, "the GodzEDTD."
"The what? I don't see anything." Astor stated. A drooling Dino grabbed Astor's muzzle and pointed it skyward. Illuminated by the searchlights was a life-sized, if not larger-than-life-sized, visage of Godzilla. Not the newer, sleeker Godzilla, but the original Toho Godzilla. Its toeclaws rose higher than anyone in the crowd around it.
After a few minutes of stunned observation, Dino finally asked, "What...what the hell is that? It's not moving."
"Of course it's not moving," the central creepysaur replied. "There's no one piloting it."
Helvetica blinked a few times. "Piloting? You mean that's just a machine?"
It was then that Khith had an electronic aneurysm and keeled over.
"That is correct, O assuredly wise cohort of the great Dinosorceror. We picked it up several universes ago."
Dino trembled internally with giddy excitement. "Jesus, I hope you remember the way back there!"
"Oh, I do," the central creepysaur replied. "However, that particular universe is just a singularity now. I don't recommend a return voyage."
One of the other creepysaurs nudged Astor. "You should've seen what we were flying around in before."
One of the policemen--which just happened to be a policewoman, a large ankylosaur--stepped up to the group. "Is this your...um..."
"Eleventh Dimension Travel Device? Yes it is, dear woman," the central creepysaur replied.
"It's stepping in a no stomping zone. You'll have to move it," said the policewoman slowly, taking in the strange pale parasaur's looks. She then glanced over the rest of the group until her eyes met Dino's...who was trying to hide behind Astor. "Oh, so it's just you again!" the policewoman laughed, and pushed everyone aside to get to the meekly smiling Dino. "If I give you any more tickets for a no stomping zone, you'll have more tickets than we have to give out, you little twerp!" she said forcefully, shoving a ticket into Dino's chest.
"Yes, ma'am," he replied softly.
"You've got just ten minutes to get this behemoth out of here," she said, pushing back the crowd. "Okay, break it up, show's over, nothin' to see here..."
Dino smiled innocently at Jenn, and quickly shoved the ticket in his pocket. He then turned his attention back to the central creepysaur. "So...why on Earth would anyone want to create a time-and-space travel device that looks like Godzilla?"
"I can't believe...I really can't believe you just asked that question seriously, Dino," Astor prodded.
"Okay, okay. Can we move it around to the back lot so we don't get in any more trouble than we are now?"
Ten minutes later, they were all inside the control center of the GodzEDTD. Entry to the device was accomplished through a doorway in the heel of the monster, which led to an elevator that traveled to the head. The top head, that is.
Dino found himself reminiscing. "Ahh, the good old days. Running around willy-nilly, looking for fragments of the Device. You said all that's left beside my Lens is just one fragment?"
"That is correct," Left (the creepysaur on the left) replied. "It was acquired in the Peger IV system."
Dino paused. "Why do I know that name..."
Helvetica stated, "I suppose Peger IV's just a singularity now, too?"
Right responded, "Oh, no...it's still there. They weren't too happy when we took this from them, though." He motioned to a small marble pedestal that held a red crystal.
"Behold, the Field crystal," Center announced dramatically, as he flicked a switch so that several spotlights illuminated it.
Dino snapped his fingers. "Shit! Of course!" He gazed at his daughter. "I...I can't believe it didn't dawn on me before, when we bought that outfit for you a couple years back and you put it on!"
His daughter looked down at herself, then back up at her father. "What? This old thing? I keep nagging you for a new one..."
"That's what you were wearing when you brought the Field crystal back!" Dino shouted excitedly.
He could almost hear a cricket chirp as everyone looked at him with blank stares.
"Oh, none of you guys would remember this. But we've got to go! Like, right now! Before it's too late!" Dino shouted again.
"Too late? This is a time machine," Astor stated.
Dino started to have a little conniption. "Listen to me! Peger IV's gonna be royally screwed if we don't get this back to them! If she doesn't get this back to them!" he stated, pointing at his daughter.
"Me?" she replied.
Dino quickly summarized what he remembered about the Peger IV incident, and then quickly ran to the controls. "I don't remember a life-size Godzilla appearing on Peger IV, though..." he stammered.
Center stepped forward. "You don't have to take the entire GodzEDTD on a voyage. You can select a destination for a small group of people with a timed duration."
Left added, "Meaning you can visit somewhere for a fixed period of time and be automagically returned, just by stepping on this dais," he motioned.
"That's all I need'ta hear," Dino said, grabbing his daughter by the arm and stepping up to the dais.
"Honey!" Jenn shouted.
"Look, this is important, dear! I thought I could get away from my former duties as Dinosorceror, and maybe I still can...but I have an opportunity to put something right that has to be done! People's lives depend on this...this has to be done!" he stated. "Don't worry...I know exactly what we're getting into. We'll be in no danger."
"Dad, I don't know what's going on, but I'm scared!" his daughter cried.
"It's okay, honey...just relax. This'll all be over in a few minutes," Dino said reassuringly. He then gave an irritated look to the creepysaurs. "C'mon, c'mon! What the hell's the holdup, guys? I want us there for ten minutes. That's all we'll need."
"Mighty Dinosorceror, there are over one hundred temporal nodes that lead to Peger IV..." Center began.
"Just do it!" Dino shouted, and in an instant they found themselves in a humid jungle with a maximum of special effects.
He held his daughter before him at arm's length. "Honey, honey...I know you're scared, but you've got to do this for your Father. You need to take the Field crystal and..."
As soon as he said the words, he realized his mistakes. All of them.
"Dad...you forgot to pick up the crystal," his daughter said sternly, crossing her arms as he fell to his knees.
"Jesus Christ...what the hell am I doing?" he whimpered. "It isn't bad enough that I start throwing myself into danger again, but now I'm taking my daughter with me..." He curled up into a ball in the undergrowth and started weeping.
She leaned over and hugged her father. "It's...it's okay, Dad. I know...I mean, you've told me lots of stories. I know how important all this was to you. I never really took the stories seriously before, but...I know how important it all was now. You had a hell of a lot of responsibility, and..."
"Geez, I didn't know Dino could get so sensitive," Astor said, wiping a tear from his eye as he watched the viewscreen.
Jenn fretted. "Can't we bring them back now?"
Center sighed. "No, I'm afraid they have to remain there for...another eight minutes."
Helvetica pointed. "What the hell is that?"
Dino eventually sat up and hugged and kissed his daughter. "I'm so sorry I dragged you into this, honey. If we just sit here and stay quiet until the ten minutes are up, we should be--"
"Well, well, well...as I live and struggle to breathe! Look who it is!" boomed a voice from the forest nearby.
Dino immediately pushed his daughter behind him again. He scrambled for his Lens pendant, only to find his bare neck. "Who said that!" he shouted.
A large scaly clawed foot, as wide as Dino was tall, pushed through two nearby trees, splintering them like matches. Equally large hands pushed aside the remainder of the obstruction, and Dino gazed up at a large draconian creature. But...it wasn't a Pneumonia Dragon...was it?
The creature had dark ornate tattoo-like patterns on its lighter scaled skin. Unlike most draconians Dino had seen, this species had a mane of hair running from between the long ears on its equinesque head down and over its shoulders. As the creature stood in the clearing before and above them, he saw that its sinewy tail ended in a diamond-shaped spear. He also couldn't help notice that his daughter was fixated on the three golden rings hanging from the creature's total lack of modesty.
"I have just got to show you to the others," the creature thundered, and reached down for them. As he was lifted, Dino couldn't help but think that he smelled Vicks Vapo-Rub.
"Great, my only daughter and my...well, my replaceable husband are trapped by some weirdo giant dragon, and there's nothing we can do about it?" Jenn hissed in irritation.
"I'm afraid so," Left replied. "We just have to wait. It's only one journey at a time with the GodzEDTD. It takes a full twenty-four hours to recharge."
"Why did you send him to such a dangerous place?" Helvetica poked Right annoyingly. He replied, "We had only explored eighty of the one hundred and fourteen nodes on Peger IV before finding the Field crystal. None of them fit the description that the mighty Dinosorceror just relayed to us in his tale. We sent him to the next available, unexplored node."
"And why doesn't he have his Lens?" Khith said, pointing to the Lens on the dais. Center replied, "That device holds too much power to be transported."
"Where is that big thing taking them?" Astor said, peering at the viewscreen.
Dino and daughter peered out from between the mighty scaled fingers that were enclosing them, seeing evidence of a primitive tribal culture complete with giant huts, when they were led inside one and dropped unceremoniously on a large table.
"My great King...look what I have found in the forest," the giant who captured them rumbled, coughing afterwards.
Dino held his daughter close to his chest, as he stared up at an even larger version of the creature that had captured him. Sitting in a makeshift throne of lashed logs, the creature wore a colorful headdress and was adorned with even more tattoo patterns and golden rings. He, too, had little modesty. Apparently, clothing wasn't en vogue on Peger IV anymore.
The king surveyed the two tiny creatures, then motioned for two subjects to unravel the Sacred Scroll. Dino looked over at the giant mural; a primitive array of glyphs picturing various events in history, presumably...and his eyes widened when he saw himself and the Field crystal.
"So, it is true," the King rumbled. "The Dinosorceror has indeed returned. You have done well, servant...you may go now."
The giant bowed and left the hut. The King also motioned for his other subjects to leave his presence, not giving Dino enough time to make out what happened after his appearance on the scroll. The smell of nasal medicines was overwhelming inside the hut.
"It seems things are quite different than your last visit, little tiny Dinosorceror. I hope you are not intent on further interference...you would be likely to become a little tiny stain, if that were the case. And who is this fragile flower you bring?" the King rumbled, leaning closer, his nostrils flaring, dripping with mucus. He felt a sneeze coming on, so he took the sacred handkerchief and sat upright, roaring a loud sneeze.
"What the hell happened here?" Dino shouted.
The King finished wiping his muzzle, and peered back down at his two captives. "I shall tell you what has happened here, little Dinosorceror. You should learn of the greatness we almost achieved despite your interference."
"I am C'hun, King of the Ah'Jhu people. Hundreds of years ago, you and the Anoles may have known us as the Pneumonia Dragons, and in a less elegant form. You see, our kind was cursed from creation to having many physical ailments. It is only through mating and combining with other species that we hope to overcome our disabilities. Certain races seemed to be adverse to combining with the mighty Ah'Jhu, however...your precious Anoles among them. The Anoles held the key to overcoming our diabetes, and you nearly prevented that from happening. Thanks to your twisted teachings, many Anoles preferred death rather than mating with us, so we barely had infused enough of their species to overcome our sugar-shock. Another race you were completely unaware of held the key to our respiratory illnesses, but again...thanks to your influence, they fled the planet."
Dino noticed his daughter staring again, and covered her eyes. "So...you're just a bunch of genetic leeches, is that what you're telling me?" Dino shouted up to the great draconian King. After C'hun's soliloquy, he began to notice a hint of the spirit of the Anoles in C'hun's eyes.
C'hun squinted. "More of your twisted Dinosorcerian philosophy! The Ah'Jhu are a mighty and proud people! Any other race should be honored to mate with us! By combining with others' diversity, we are destined to become the most successful race in the history of the cosmos!"
Dino nodded sarcastically. "Oh...oh, yeah. The universe needs another master race. Best of luck to ya, schneezy."
C'hun leaned back in his giant throne. "Your insolence only makes me savor your agonizing death under my claw, tiny fool. And your accomplice? Well, I think it would be suitably ironic that the blood of our ancient enemy be added to our diversity!"
Dino glanced at his daughter, and his eyes flared with rage at C'hun. He turned back to his daughter. "Honey, while I distract C'hun, you run and hide someplace safe until you're teleported back home."
"But, Dad, I--"
"No arguments, honey. Just go. I'm sure he won't chase you. He knows he can catch you easily, but he doesn't know you're going to disappear in a few minutes. Now run! Run!"
She stifled a tear as she sprinted across the table, much to the amusement of C'hun. "Hey, C'hun!" Dino shouted. "Why don't you eat shit, in hell, on a paper plate, with a plastic spoon?"
C'hun leaned further back in his throne, lifting one of his great clawed feet over the table before him. "Ahh...only one decision remains...which one of my toes should be given the honor of your demise..."
Dino swallowed roughly, standing his ground as the giant scaled sole lowered quickly on his position...
"They're back!" Helvetica shouted, nearly peeing himself.
Jenn's daughter flew off of the dais in a flash, nearly piercing one of GodzEDTD's glassy eyes before skidding to a stop.
"But...where's Dino?" Astor asked. Silence reigned for a few seconds. Right said, "Well, perhaps because there was a distance between them, the return process -- "
In a flash, Dino appeared on the dais, lying on his back, agony on his face.
"Holy shit, Dino!" Astor shouted. "From the look on your face, it looks like you were about to become kruft!"
"Nnnno!" Dino wheezed. "My Lens is sticking me in the ass!"
Late that evening...in fact, early that morning...the entire crew had once again gathered in the dining room of the Lava Dome Four Bed 'n' Breakfast to relax and have some ice cream.
"So, what did you think of your taste of heroism, Dino?" Astor chuckled.
"I tell you what I have to say...piss on the past, that's what I have to say," he chuckled. "You won't be seeing me throwing myself into any more life-or-death situations. Things have changed now."
"What do you mean?" Center asked.
"Well...this is the first time I've realized that...well, it was one thing when I was just a stupid schmuck playing around with universal powers. Now I see that by putting myself in danger, I'm not just hurting myself, but hurting the ones I love as well."
A big awwww circulated around the table.
"I guess we'll be off then," Center stated, standing in unison with his creepy brethren.
"But why? It doesn't seem like you've got anything better to do," Khith said.
"No, on the contrary...there are still a few Dinosorcerors out there, and maybe even some more segments of the Device. We were rather hoping that the mighty Dinosorceror would join us in our journey...but now, I see that is simply not the case. We will be using the GodzEDTD to transport us to our next destination, but we will leave behind the GodzEDTD and the Field crystal...just in case you change your mind." Center tossed the keys to the GodzEDTD to Dino, and left with his cohorts without another word.
"Eh, good riddance," Dino's son stated, sitting in his bowl. "I wouldn't've liked those freaks hanging around." His sister plopped a glob of whipped cream on top of him.
"Well, before you two get too kinky, it's way past bedtime," Jenn stated.
Just before dawn, while Dino's son was battling a mouse for a piece of cheese in the lobby, he noticed his sister quietly slinking out the front door, keys in hand. "Hey, sis! Where ya going?" he squeaked up to her.
She didn't reply. She would only have to sneak out thirty two more mornings...at the most.